It takes a lot of courage to embark on a weight loss journey. I can attest to this myself in more ways than one. In my clinical weight management experience, I have taken care of hundreds of patients who were terrified at their first appointment with me, yet they showed up anyway! In addition to being a Nurse Practitioner and the author of this blog, I am also a weight loss patient myself. I remember when I decided to take that first step and ask my primary care provider for a referral to a weight loss specialist. I was nervous, but I was also exhilarated at the possibility of a healthy weight, and proud that I had made that first call. Leading up to that moment, I had experienced decades of frustrating weight loss attempts, constant negative self-talk, and a humiliating and steady climb of my weight all the way to almost 450 pounds. Honestly, I was at a low point in my health.
About 9 months after I had bariatric surgery, my journey hit a snag. During that time in my life, I was experiencing multiple life stressors, including a job change and some family health issues. My anxiety really skyrocketed during this time, and I realized how reliant I had been on the comfort of food prior to bariatric surgery. By having bariatric surgery, I had taken away food as a coping strategy, so I was compelled to seek help for my mental health both from my primary care provider and a mental health counselor. During this time, not only did I learn a lot about myself, but also a lot about how mental health connects to obesity. I took this as an opportunity to start helping others living with obesity, so I made a career shift to clinical weight management.
I came to realize that a healthy lifestyle involves more than just good nutrition and plenty of physical activity. The truth is that a lot of other things must be in place for a person to be able to practice healthy habits for life. Nourishing your mental health is as important as nourishing your body with healthy food.
“Why should I care about mental health when losing weight?”
It’s important to understand the connection between mental health and weight loss as you make important adjustments to your habits, and in maintaining a healthy weight long-term. Life will always be stressful, and it seems like life in America just gets more stressful every day. Over time, that can take a toll on your mind and your body, so learning how to manage your stress without food takes some patience and some honest self-reflection. Like I said, I didn’t make this connection myself until many months after I had my bariatric surgery. The weight management journey is always a learning process, and if you open yourself up to the idea of tending to your soul, you may discover some unexpected things about yourself.
Here are some things to examine about your current habits and identify some steps to take for your own mental health and wellbeing!
Uncover your ultimate “Why.”
Before you can make long-lasting, meaningful changes to your lifestyle, you first have to identify your ultimate motivation to lose weight and improve your health. Your daily level of motivation will change with your energy and stress levels. But your ultimate motivation is the underlying reason driving you to make changes or the end goal you wish to achieve. You should take some time to reflect on what is currently holding you back from reaching your goals and your full potential. This motivation should be something deeper than just losing a few pounds before an important event. It needs to be something meaningful and important that will remain constant as your daily stress and motivation levels go up and down. Ask yourself, “what in my life is most precious? What important things do I want to achieve? What things do you want to avoid? Who in your life is most important and impacted by you and your health? What has my weight held me back from?”
During the difficult times of your weight journey, identifying and remembering what you’re trying to achieve will be critical to mentally weathering the tough days to come.
Examine your feelings about food
Many people struggle with emotional eating—turning to food as a comfort during stressful or emotional times. This happens because life is pretty stressful, and so the chances that food and stress will happen together is pretty high! When your emotions are comforted by food, then your brain may confuse signals for anxiety/stress with hunger. This is often times how the habit of comfort eating or stress eating starts. Try to remember that the purpose of food is nutrition for our bodies, and it’s ok for the food to taste good, too. But, if you’re using food for an emotional crutch, like stress relief, resolving loneliness or boredom, or even treating underlying psychological problems like depression or bipolar disorder, then not only will your weight increase, but also the underlying problems go untreated and can get worse. Having more stress about weight gain can further trigger emotional eating, and this can perpetuate a very unhealthy cycle.
It’s important to check in with your emotions around eating. Do you only feel happy when you’re eating, but then feel depressed afterwards? Do you only celebrate or de-stress with food? Do you go to food when you’re bored?
Also be mindful of how you describe or refer to food. Try to avoid assigning values like “good” or “bad” to food, because these labels can be internalized and deepen mental health problems.
Challenge negative self-talk.
A healthy self-image is crucial in the weight loss journey. Negative self-talk and body dissatisfaction can hinder progress and lead to unhealthy behaviors. Engaging in mental health care encourages self-compassion and helps you develop a more positive and realistic view of yourself. This shift in perspective can enhance your motivation and overall well-being, making your journey smoother and more rewarding. Also, if you’re constantly talking negatively about yourself and your body, how can you expect that your lifestyle changes will be lasting and meaningful? If you don’t value yourself, then why bother, right?! Try to find some things about your body that you DO like, so that you’ll be more likely to honor it rather than engaging in self-harming behaviors.
Maks SMALL changes to build BIG confidence!
Sustainable weight loss is about adopting lifelong healthy habits, and this can take time. If you’re able to meet smaller goals, this can fuel the confidence and energy to try increasingly bigger and harder things! Mental health care can support this by helping you set realistic goals, develop strategies to stick with them, and provide some accountability to your process. Behavioral therapy can assist in breaking old habits and creating new, positive routines that will lead you to meeting your goals.
Be sure to take some time each day to acknowledge some recent accomplishment or some progress you have made so far. Proving to yourself you can do hard things fuels your fire for future successes!
Challenge “all-or-nothing” mentality and behavior.
Setbacks are a natural part of any weight loss journey, and you must give yourself permission to make mistakes. If you throw in the towel every time you make a mistake, you won’t ever make any progress beyond a frustrating yo-yo dieting cycle. Give yourself a chance to learn and grow, otherwise, it will be like Groundhog Day repeating.
Mental health care provides you with coping strategies, personal growth and confidence, and the emotional tools needed to overcome setbacks without losing hope. It’s about building a mindset that sees challenges as opportunities for growth rather than insurmountable obstacles.
“Where should I start with my mental health?”
Now that we’ve got you thinking about how mental health connects to weight management success, we hope you’re ready to take some steps to understand, support and improve your mental health as it relates not only to weight but overall well-being:
Seek professional help
There should be no stigma in getting clinical care for your mental health. If you are struggling with your mood, concerned about food behaviors, or just have some life stressors you need help with, it’s really important to find a mental health provider who is specialized to meet your needs. If you have childhood trauma, struggle with anxiety or depression, or just need to develop some healthier stress coping strategies, it’s important to address these issues with appropriate methods.
If you leave your emotional and mental health without appropriate treatment, it would be very difficult to reasonably sustain other healthy habits. So while you’re working on your nutrition and getting physically active, also prioritize your mental wellness as an integral part of your journey.
Create an “Emotional Toolbox.”
If you’ve become used to using food as an emotional crutch, you may not be able to identify other ways of coping with emotions. So, I like to think of it as building an “emotional toolbox” to help you cope with different emotions. Think about what you might be feeling when you start to stress-eat or binge. Do you feel afraid? Lonely? Angry? Then, think about how you might help to ease those emotions appropriately, and without using food for comfort.
Here’s an example of what your “Emotional Toolbox” could be:
When I feel this…… I do this…..
Bored Hobby, leisure activity (puzzles, movies, crafts)
Angry/frustrated Vent to my spouse, get in a workout
Lonely/afraid Call/text someone who might also be lonely
Stressed/exhausted Self-pampering like a hot bath, getting a facial or a manicure
Nervous/anxious Write in a journal, read scripture/inspirational book
Sad/depressed Talk with a counselor, prayer/meditation, uplifting music
These are just examples of ways you can process and deal with emotions without using food for comfort. Be mindful about creating your own set of coping skills that you can “pull out of the toolbox” during those stressful moments.
Practicing these strategies on a regular basis may not completely stop you from occasionally stress-eating or over-indulging when you’re bored. But they may help you to become less and less dependent on food for comfort over time, because your needs are being met in other healthier ways.
Build a Support System
Embarking on a weight loss journey can be really isolating, especially if you always feel like that one person who is “always on a diet.” Weight management is a life-long responsibility, so it’s very important that the people in your life are not sabotaging your progress but rather supporting your road to success.
With obesity affecting over 40% of our country’s population, chances are there are others in your life who are also working on a healthier way of life and would like a supportive friend. You can talk with your family about your goals and give them some specific ways they can help support you. For instance, go on a family walk together or cook a new healthy recipe together. If you don’t have many supportive people in your life currently, you may need to find a support group of people with similar needs. There are many national organizations and local groups that can meet your needs. There are many online support communities that can be accessed from virtually anywhere so you can get the support you need right when and where you need it.
It’s important to be proactive about building your support system in order to build your confidence and help sustain your healthy habits for life. There’s no need to go it alone.
At New You, we pride ourselves on being the first members of our patients’ support system, and we are committed to helping each one build their own, supportive tribe!
Establish a regular self-care ritual
Make self-care a priority, because ultimately, it’s your responsibility to care for your body. Your mom will not be coming over every night to make sure you’ve taken your vitamins or gotten enough sleep! It’s up to you to ensure you’re getting enough sleep, keeping your medical appointments, eating nutritious foods, and engaging in physical activity that you enjoy. Taking care of your overall health can have a positive impact on your mental well-being and weight loss success. Being in charge of your own wellness can be very emotionally and mentally empowering, and this will help support a positive outcome.
The purpose of a self-care ritual is to honor your body and reduce your overall stress so that you are less reliant on unhealthy coping strategies like food or alcohol. Commit to setting aside a few minutes each day that are devoted specifically to you and your wellbeing. Some examples could be to make yourself a cup of relaxing herbal tea after a stressful day at work. You could curl up with a Netflix series or podcast that you can enjoy and recharge. You could spend time cuddling your animals or in your garden for a few minutes of peace and quiet. Doing these activities on a regular basis helps to remind yourself of how important you are and to honor your body in an intentional, positive way.
We hope this helps you to understand that mental health is not just an adjunct to your weight loss journey; it should be an integral part of it. If we are only focused on our physical body and not our mental well-being, we are only doing part of the work we need to do in order to have a truly sustainable healthy lifestyle. Addressing your mental health will help establish a more balanced, successful, and fulfilling weight loss journey, no matter which path you’re on. Remember, weight loss is not just about changing your body—it’s about transforming your entire relationship with yourself, both body AND mind. Embrace mental health care as a partner in this transformation, and you will see that the road does not have to long, lonely and daunting. Instead, you could find that a weight loss journey is actually rewarding and maybe even enjoyable!
Our commitment at New You is to welcome the whole person to our practice and take the time to get to know and care for each and every part of you….body, mind, and soul!